my favorite headline of all time
"i dont know about you, but im feeling 22 officer so i dont think these underage drinking charges should really apply to me"
women: being a woman is hard
men: I thikn youre forgetting something: it is also hard to be a man. just letting you know that you forgot to mention that when you were talking about being a woman
for christmas my mom got me a shirt with something i said to her when i was really hungover once.
'i'll just have one more scoop'
when u accidentally drop ur phone on ur face.